© COPYRIGHT 2009 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Robert P. Murray, Esquire

 

 

GROUND RULES FOR THE MEDIATION PROCESS

 

When I conduct mediation, I review the following rules with the parties in order that the mediation process moves along smoothly and minimizes antagonistic behavior.  It is recommended that each party:

 

1. Attack the problems and concerns at hand. Do not attack each other.

 

2. Avoid positions; rather express yourself in terms of needs and interests

and the outcomes you would like to realize.

 

3. Work for what you believe is the most constructive and fairest agreement

for both of you.

 

4. During settlement meetings, remember the following:

 

a. Do not interrupt when the other party is speaking. You will have a

full and equal opportunity to speak on every issue presented for discussion.

 

b. Do not use language that blames or finds fault with the other. Use

non-inflammatory words. Be respectful of others.

 

c. Speak for yourself; make “I” statements. Use each other’s first

names and avoid “he” or “she.”

 

d. If you share a complaint, raise it as your concern and follow it up

with a constructive suggestion as to how it might be resolved.

 

e. If something is not working for you, please tell the mediator so your

concern can be addressed.

 

f. Listen carefully and try to understand what the other is saying

without being judgmental about the person or the message.